Sunday, January 24th, 2021

How Increased Confidence Improves Appearance, Credibility and Influence


Confidence. Do you think about how much you have? Do you wonder if having more might improve your life experience? Confidence, and how much you have of it, is probably not something you think about on a daily basis, if at all. Why? Because you don’t know it’s a problem. What we experience as difficult or stressful and the reason we avoid places, people and activities is usually linked to a lack of confidence. Let’s think about increasing confidence. When you build your confidence you improve your appearance, your credibility and your influence.


Confident women look fabulous (even if they aren’t ‘perfect’ in media terms) because they pay attention to the details of their appearance. They dress to suit their unique personality, they don’t follow trends, they don’t worry about what people think and they wear styles that sometimes draw attention – and they don’t mind. Actually, a confident woman always draws attention because confidence is uncommon. A self-conscious woman will wear what she has always worn and is not open to change because she’s afraid of standing out or of what others will think. Confident women embrace change.


Confident women look amazing because they shop alone and don’t rely on the ‘good advice’ of friends to tell them what they should buy or how they should look. The confident woman has taken time and effort to go through a styling process and is sure that what she wears looks great on her. The self-conscious woman can’t shop alone and is dependent on others for advice, which is why so much of her clothes don’t feel perfect for her and are left in her closet unworn.


Confident women look great because they like themselves and most importantly, they like their bodies. They are grateful for their bodies and put time and effort into keeping them strong and in good condition. They don’t say bad things about their bodies and are appreciative of every part of it. Loving their bodies is a big asset when they shop because when clothes don’t fit well (fact: 95% of women need clothes altered) they know it’s the clothes that aren’t perfect, not their bodies.


Just think of how a confident woman appears because she is not hung up on how she looks. When she feels good about her appearance and who she is, she can concentrate on other things. This leads to credibility. How can you be credible if you don’t believe in yourself? If you don’t feel good about how you look you are unlikely to step into a new situation without feeling a little (or a lot) self-conscious. You won’t go to meetings alone; or, if you do it will be stressful because, ‘what if you get there too early and there’s no one to talk to, or too late and all eyes are on you’, or     ‘what if there’s no one there you know’? The self-doubting woman most likely will not find herself in situations like these without stress.


The confident woman can stride into any room and is happy that she doesn’t know many people because that means there are more to meet. She enthusiastically walks up to people she’d like to know and easily introduces herself. She has taken the time to learn social graces and is at ease in social situations. This behaviour enhances her credibility because no one will believe in her until she believes in herself.


Influential women are charismatic. Charisma is formed when high confidence levels are evident in body language, trust and warmth. The way we move (body language) – walk, sit and speak – reveals our inner thoughts and how we feel. Just think of a person who is unsure of themselves – they will walk, sit and speak with apprehension. Conversely, a person who is confident moves with grace and ease.


Confident people trust themselves – they are aware of their abilities, know their limitations and trust themselves to be who they are. Trusting oneself is a precursor to others placing trust in you.


Confident people display a feeling of warmth. They are fun to be around and are seen as approachable, caring and empathetic. Warmth starts from within – knowing, liking and loving yourself first.


Will being more confident improve your life? Absolutely! Even a slight improvement in confidence will allow you to do more, to take risks, to be rid of self-imposed limitations and enjoy life!


If you’d like to feel better, look better and enjoy more of life I challenge you to take a look at how you can improve your confidence today.


Begin by downloading my eBook and videos – 7 Steps to Boost Your Confidence Today!   

Are You Sabotaging Your Image?

Are you Sabotaging Your Image?

womanfiguresI’m always super alert to what’s going on around me and lately I’ve been noticing a few regular themes that have been running through the lives of women I meet. Mostly what I’m seeing is that women are not stepping into their power – in fact, they are giving it away.

Looking through the lens of image (how you present yourself to the world) I see women giving away their power and sabotaging their image in several ways:

In choosing how they dress, women give away their power to friends who don’t mean well. In actual fact, if a friend doesn’t mean well – he/she isn’t a friend. That sounds simple, but it’s amazing how many women put up with bad behaviour from ‘friends’. Here are a few real life examples:

a) Sharon is shopping with a friend and she finds a dress she really likes. When Sharon steps out of the dressing room, her friend quickly tells her why the dress is not good for her. She says, “ I know you, and you’d never be comfortable wearing that type of neckline – it’s much too low”. Sharon immediately starts doubting her judgment; she doesn’t want to look revealing and rejects the dress (which she liked and looked great on her). Sharon just gave away her power when she started doubting her own judgment and gave in to her friend’s manipulation.

b) Lois is at a gathering and one of her friends says to her, “You look slim have you lost weight?” Before Lois gets a chance to answer and say she’s been working out her ‘friend’ says, “No, she hides it well”. Lois passes this off as a joke. Lois just gave away her power because she is keeping company with people who aren’t her real friends and who feel okay putting her down.

When you let other people dictate how you should dress or look, you are giving your power away and not being and showing your authentic self. If this is you, make a decision to stop now. How? Close your eyes and imagine how you really want to look. How would you dress if you knew you wouldn’t be criticized? What’s your ideal look?

Decide today to create a look that is YOU. Begin by finding out what styles you really like. The colours you would like to wear, how you want your hair styled. Visualize it first in your mind and then write it down.

If you’ve been living by other people’s “shoulds” for years and years it might be a little difficult to stop. Do it anyway!

In their behaviour women give away their power by saying yes when they mean no. One of the pillars of image is behaviour – how you show up in the world. When you don’t know what you stand for you lose credibility and personal power. An example of this is saying yes to the requests of others because you want to be liked or going along with the opinions of others because it’s easier (and you want to be liked). It might seem easier at the time but is a sure way to lose energy, credibility, joy and personal power.

It’s not enough to look great on the outside if you’re feeling small or insignificant on the inside. To regain your personal power the first step is to be aware that you’re giving your power away. The second step is to decide to stop and the third step is to make a plan to start living authentically.

The rewards are awesome!

More on this topic:

How Is Your Self-Image Affecting Your Personal Power?

7 Ways Women Stay Stuck

Are You Giving Away Your Power?