Wednesday, January 27th, 2021

Are you Sabotaging Your Image?

womanfiguresI’m always super alert to what’s going on around me and lately I’ve been noticing a few regular themes that have been running through the lives of women I meet. Mostly what I’m seeing is that women are not stepping into their power – in fact, they are giving it away.

Looking through the lens of image (how you present yourself to the world) I see women giving away their power and sabotaging their image in several ways:

In choosing how they dress, women give away their power to friends who don’t mean well. In actual fact, if a friend doesn’t mean well – he/she isn’t a friend. That sounds simple, but it’s amazing how many women put up with bad behaviour from ‘friends’. Here are a few real life examples:

a) Sharon is shopping with a friend and she finds a dress she really likes. When Sharon steps out of the dressing room, her friend quickly tells her why the dress is not good for her. She says, “ I know you, and you’d never be comfortable wearing that type of neckline – it’s much too low”. Sharon immediately starts doubting her judgment; she doesn’t want to look revealing and rejects the dress (which she liked and looked great on her). Sharon just gave away her power when she started doubting her own judgment and gave in to her friend’s manipulation.

b) Lois is at a gathering and one of her friends says to her, “You look slim have you lost weight?” Before Lois gets a chance to answer and say she’s been working out her ‘friend’ says, “No, she hides it well”. Lois passes this off as a joke. Lois just gave away her power because she is keeping company with people who aren’t her real friends and who feel okay putting her down.

When you let other people dictate how you should dress or look, you are giving your power away and not being and showing your authentic self. If this is you, make a decision to stop now. How? Close your eyes and imagine how you really want to look. How would you dress if you knew you wouldn’t be criticized? What’s your ideal look?

Decide today to create a look that is YOU. Begin by finding out what styles you really like. The colours you would like to wear, how you want your hair styled. Visualize it first in your mind and then write it down.

If you’ve been living by other people’s “shoulds” for years and years it might be a little difficult to stop. Do it anyway!

In their behaviour women give away their power by saying yes when they mean no. One of the pillars of image is behaviour – how you show up in the world. When you don’t know what you stand for you lose credibility and personal power. An example of this is saying yes to the requests of others because you want to be liked or going along with the opinions of others because it’s easier (and you want to be liked). It might seem easier at the time but is a sure way to lose energy, credibility, joy and personal power.

It’s not enough to look great on the outside if you’re feeling small or insignificant on the inside. To regain your personal power the first step is to be aware that you’re giving your power away. The second step is to decide to stop and the third step is to make a plan to start living authentically.

The rewards are awesome!

More on this topic:

How Is Your Self-Image Affecting Your Personal Power?

7 Ways Women Stay Stuck

Are You Giving Away Your Power?