Tuesday, January 19th, 2021

Who Are You Trying To Please?

people pleaserThe idea of being a pleaser might be a very resistant thought for you – you might be thinking, “I am NOT a people pleaser” or maybe you know you’re a pleaser and are fine with it. Whatever the case, putting a little thought into whom you might be trying to please will yield some insight. Don’t fret; being a people pleaser is not a matter of being good or bad. It just is. However, knowing if you are a people pleaser can be helpful if you are not getting what you want. Why? Because you can change it.


If you’re a pleaser one of the places it will show up is in how you dress and what you choose to wear. What you wear impacts how you feel and how you feel affects your energy. Your energy sets up your body language and sends messages of who you are. Your energy is your attracting factor. This is very important – your energy is your ATTRACTING FACTOR. If you’re not getting what you want how you’re dressing might have something to do with it.


Dressing is something we do from birth. First our caretakers dress us and then we dress ourselves. For some there is a lot of thought put into it and for others very little. However, even those who put a lot of time into thinking about what they wear usually don’t think about why they dress the way they do. It is in the ‘why’ of our choices that we can learn the most about who we are. Interesting? I think so.


Dressing authentically is very important if you want to attract what you really want. That means setting aside what other people want from you and dressing in a way that makes you feel good and resonates with who you are or who you want to be. You might not have a clue that you’re trying to please anyone in how you dress so I have a few suggestions of how it might be showing up. Let’s go on a little journey into your wardrobe and discover if, or whom you might be trying to please.


Before we get started I’d like you to take a minute, close your eyes and relax. Think of a situation where you’d like to feel powerful, confident, influential and comfortable. In this situation what would you be wearing – the outfit and the colour? As you read the following ‘pleasing’ situations think about how close your chosen outfit is to what you’re wearing now and what you wear most often.


  1. You might be trying to please your friends if you dress as they do. Just take a minute to think about what your friends wear and how they dress. How close is it to how you dress? Is this how the real you would dress if you weren’t influenced?


  1. Was style and dressing a big deal in your family? Was a lot of emphasis put on looking a certain way – either to dress well or to dress down? Was there any conversation about it or ‘you just knew’? Are you dressing to please your family or maybe a particular family member? Will you receive ridicule if you don’t conform?


  1. Are you trying to please your partner? Do you wear clothing styles your partner likes or wear your hair in a particular style just to please your partner? Or, are you dressing in a way that’s not really ‘you’ to attract a partner?


  1. Are you dressing to fit in because you don’t want to attract attention or you don’t want to change your style because someone might notice and you’ll lose friends? Do you keep new clothes awhile before wearing them because you feel awkward wearing something new?


  1. Maybe you dress to be different, to stand out and you do it intentionally.


Hopefully you are now thinking about why you’ve chosen your particular style and the colours you wear. Is what you’re wearing inspiring positive or negative energy? Are you attracting the right people (people who are in sync with you) into your life?


When your clothes are an authentic reflection of who you are you will feel comfortable in all situations and never feel you want to slink under the rug, run from a room or go home to change. You will never second – guess your clothing choices and never compare. The best thing is, you will feel more confident, more attractive and you will be more credible!


If you know your clothing isn’t creating an attracting energy and you know that there’s a good chance that you might be self-sabotaging in other areas of your life, it’s time to make a change. Begin by finding your Style Archetype. Then let’s get on the phone and talk about what you wear and the impact it’s having.