Wednesday, January 27th, 2021

7 Ways Women Stay Stuck

Portrait of happy young businesswomanAre you, or have you ever felt stuck? Stuck in an unfulfilling career, a stagnant business or a dead-end relationship? Or have you felt stuck in general – feeling like things and situations are not working out? There are reasons for being stuck and recognizing them is the first step to being freed. Look at the list below, put judgments aside and consider if you might be using any of these to stay where you are.

  1. Blame: This is the excuse that is used most often by people who don’t want to take responsibility for what’s happening in their lives. When the truth is taking responsibility is what will make the biggest difference. When we can get around the guilt or shame that comes from admitting we made a mistake or that we could have made better choices and not be afraid to own it and say it, things change. For example, Sam gets involved in a ‘get rich quick’ scheme and she loses thousands of dollars. Her choices are to blame the person who sold her into this or she can take responsibility for maybe being a little  impulsive. Blame will get her nothing, however, taking responsibility will most likely prevent her from making the same mistake again.


  1. Waiting for something or someone to change: This is akin to blame because in this instance we are giving our power to someone else. We have the power to make the change and it’s our internal power not the hope of others changing that we can actually count on. This might show up as someone expecting their partner to become the type of person they want. They have a belief that when this person changes everything will be great. The thing is – we can only change ourselves.


  1. Putting up with okay: Telling ourselves that everything is fine, when it isn’t, is a way of ‘hiding our heads in the sand’. When we have that nagging feeling that something isn’t right in our relationship, or we tell ourselves our business slump will soon change (when we haven’t done anything to change it) or that when we get a new office our career will improve, we are telling ourselves lies so we won’t have to make a change.


  1. Being afraid to ask for help: For some people asking for help is admitting failure. They believe they should be able to do it alone. Whether they don’t want to ask (or pay for) help in their business, they don’t want to see a relationship counsellor or seek help in finding other employment. The need to do everything alone will sabotage any attempts of moving ahead. No one can do it alone.


  1. Feeling sorry for themselves: Wallowing in our sorrows and ruminating on  why things don’t work out for us, just gets us more of what we have and not what we want. We get what we focus on.


  1. Confusion: For those who are ready to move ahead confusion is a form of self-sabotage that keeps them back. Consciously they really want to move ahead but subconsciously they are being held back by creating confusion and overwhelm. They begin a task only to stop frustrated because they believe they should be doing something more important. Or, they look at their large to-do list and feel defeated before they begin. Confusion keeps them stuck in the same place.


  1. Fear: I’ve left this for last because it’s usually the biggest obstacle to hold us back. We fear the unknown. We don’t know what will happen when we take a step into uncharted territory. What happens if we fail? What happens if we put more money into our business and don’t reap the rewards? What if we quit our job and don’t find another? What if we leave a relationship and are single forever? Hey, I know I’ve been there. The question that needs asking is: What if it turns out to be better than we ever imagined? Wouldn’t we be happy we made the choice? Yes! Yes! Yes!



If you’ve identified any, or all of these as holding you back you’ve taken the first step – awareness. We can’t change anything we don’t know exists. To step into our power, have more joy and become magnetic it is imperative we uncover and dissolve anything and everything that is holding us back. Get UNSTUCK!