Tuesday, January 26th, 2021

Do You Have Charisma?


The quality of your life depends on your level of charisma or your level of magnetism. If you’re a charismatic person people want to be in your company – they admire you, they trust you and they want to do business with you. Charismatic people have a way of being (behaving, interacting) in the world that is attractive – people want to be around them. I have been contemplating this idea and noticing it for some time. In doing this I’ve looked at people I’m attracted to and asked myself, why I want to know them (I call it ‘wanting more of them’) and be around them. On the flip side, why do I not want to know a certain person?


Here’s an example, I went to a networking meeting a year ago where I met a woman who has since become one of my best friends. She is a local businesswoman and well known in our community. I’d heard her name but had never seen her. At the event I noticed her (I still didn’t know who she was) and I was captivated by her presence and decided I would meet her. What was it that captivated me? Number one: Her credibility: she is very confident and sure of herself and it shows in how she moves – open body language – sureness. Number two: Likeability: she smiles and is approachable. Number three: she has and attractive appearance – she cares about herself.


These were my first impressions. I didn’t consciously think of all those things at the time, it was my intuition. Later, after meeting her I realized my first impressions were correct. Usually if we pay attention to our gut reactions, we know the truth.


So what does this mean for you and your charisma? Do you know how people see you? Do you know if you’re pulling people in or sending them away?


People react to us not just by what we say, but how we move, how we interact with them, our tone of voice and our physical appearance. Just close your eyes and think of a person you’ve recently met who you trusted immediately, then think of a person you’ve known a long time who you consider trustworthy. What is it about them that creates a feeling of trust? How do they behave towards you? What do they say?


Now, being very honest with yourself, jot down what you believe other people see when they meet you. Be honest. Don’t lie to yourself.


  1. Your approachability: Do you feel good about who you are? Are you friendly? Do you smile or are you concerned about what others think or worry about creating a negative impression (Are you thinking, “what if they know the real me, will they still like me?”)?


  1. Credibility: Do others see you as someone who can be trusted? Are you sincere?


  1. Attractiveness: Do you take care of yourself physically? Attractive doesn’t mean you have to be what society calls beautiful. It means that you care about how you look. The underlying premise is that if we value something we take care of it. Be honest and write down all the ways you take care and don’t take care of your appearance.


If you really want to be courageous ask several people who you can rely on to give you honest feedback with this question. “What was your first impression of me?


Becoming more charismatic – being a person people want to know and be around – creates positive changes. You will notice your circle of friends and your relationships become more and more fulfilling. Your career or your business becomes more enjoyable and you have more joy. Exciting, isn’t it?